If You Don't Respect Boundaries, Your Child Won't Either

Recent events and media coverage have made us ALL aware of the new and VERY real dangers of kids sharing photos and videos of peers without consent. 

While a lot of this behavior, though terrifying, represents typical adolescent behavior (poor judgment, increased risk taking, strong influence from their peers), social media and advancing technology has dramatically increased the STAKES for our kids. We thought passing notes or 3-way calling was bad, but it barely skimmed the surface.

When we try to talk to parents about teaching their children healthy boundaries around photo and video sharing - something hard for many young children to understand - we ask them when the last time was that they shared a photo or video of their child on social media. Before you say, “That’s different,” take a moment to think about just how different it really is. Is your child happy that their tantrum has become a funny TikTok video, or that a shot of them covered in chocolate and half naked is on IG? The answer is that we don’t really know.

What we do know, however, is the powerful influence that a parent's behavior has on modeling for our children. From birth, our children are looking at us and to us for signs about how to operate in the world. They mimic our language, our behaviors, our gestures…and our choices. If we want to start early on the idea of consent, one easy place is to change our own behavior TODAY. For kids over 4, try asking them for permission before sending a video, telling someone a story about them (for example, telling the neighbor “we are having some terrible listening over here” while your child stands by listening), or sharing other personal information. Model for them that you ask, and then that you listen. Talk to them about how many people see their photos, comment on it, and why you share it. Understanding your decision making (critical thinking skills) can also help them to develop their own.