Tell Me Why You Love This

Taking an interest in what interests your child is a powerful way to build connection and strengthen your relationship, but it may not be easy. Violent video games? Train collections? Dumping water out of the bathtub? Make-up tutorials? There is a lot our children adore that we do not. But when you show genuine curiosity and enthusiasm for your child's hobbies, passions, and experiences, you communicate that their interests matter to you and are worthy of your attention. This validation and support help your child feel understood, accepted, and valued, fostering a sense of trust and mutual respect in your relationship.

In addition to building connection, shared experiences with your child create memories (the good ones) and a common language of being around one another. These moments matter long into adolescence and adulthood, and they require just a few steps from you. 

Here’s how:

Listen: Taking an interest in your child's interests allows you to gain insights into their thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. By actively listening and engaging with your child's passions, you demonstrate empathy and compassion, fostering open communication and a supportive environment where your child feels comfortable expressing themselves.

Learn: Learning about something from your child upsets the power structure in your relationship and helps them to feel important in their role as teacher. By asking them to teach you a skill or about an interest they have, you show your child that you respect them, that you value what they have to say, and that you are growing with them.

Be Present: Taking an interest in your child’s interests requires your time. Put the devices away, reserve a few moments one on one, and give of your time and attention. Try starting with 30 minutes once a week and build from there. Relationships are long, and this is a marathon, not a sprint.

Above all, remember that a strong relationship with your child protects them from adversity in the future, supports belonging and self esteem, and gives our children the confidence to seek independence. Our relationship is something we can always repair, always focus on, and always grow. Together.